17 June, '07: Doc will be moving to Shanghai, the capitalist in him would not allow him to stay in Udon Thani. So much for "retirement." I'm not sure if he sold or divorced Ging. Easy come, easy go.

13 September, 2003: Revised, edited and a whole bunch of pictures added . Bear in mind the pictures were taken on film and a 1.3 MP digital camera.

April 13, 2002

Hey all,

 It took me almost 10 days to catch up from the trip, as there was a big work backlog (reports to write - ecch) as well as household stuff to get up to date.  Pretty much past those hurdles for now and I can run off at the keyboard on about a wonderful land called Thailand.

Thai in Thai means "free," so Thailand is the land of the free. I'd visited the very touristy cities of Phuket and Pattaya along the southern coast over the Navy years, but never made a non-gov't or work-affiliated trip until this one.  Gerrit's first totally government-free Asia trip!

San Diego - LA - Taipei - Bangkok

 What lead me on to the trip was an invitation from a buddy in Texas, Michael, who goes by his nickname "Doc". He was going to Udon Thani to marry a Thai woman, Suwimon Prakobbua (Ging is her nickname) in a ceremony near her village on 30 March, 2002. He met her on-line, she has the equivalent of an associates degree in graphic arts. Most Thai's use nicknames because their given names can be be real tongue-twisters.

   Doc first asked me if I wanted to go in January and I initially declined as I was gonna have a long week in Honolulu working on two subs and no time to get reorganized for an international trip. About a month later while we were having a Jack Daniels-influenced IM session, he said I should come to the wedding and he'd pay for my motel room.  I looked up fares and found China Airlines could get me from LA to Bangkok for $540 round trip.  I asked Pam, who whole-hearted consented, well, after I agreed to let her visit Sydney in July.  Hmm, so, I said "Yes!"  I would have to take 7 days off without pay as I had very little vacation saved up, but I figured what the hell -  when will I have the opportunity again?

   So, I did the inspections on the two O'ahu subs, returned to LA, then the shuttle flight to San Diego. Spent Saturday getting organized, and I have to say it was wonderful not to have to pack my huge, suitcase space-sucking steel-toed shoes and hardhat, not to mention a 6" thick binder of drawings! Sean was happy to see me back and luckily understands and accepts when Daddy has to go to "work."Next day I got the rental car, said goodbye to Pam and Sean and was off to LAX. 

   Made the flight fine and was soon in the 747-400 to Taipei. That was my first time in a 747. 16 hours later I made the transfer across Taipei airport (CKS for Chaing Kai Shek) and boarded the very red-eye to Bangkok (BKK). Flying a non-Western based airline is very different - harried but still organized and very attractive and slim Chinese attendants in tight purple blouse and skirts.

  After two days (technically) after leaving LA I arrived in Bangkok at 0100 in the morning.  Okay, now to find a cab and the motel. One Mercedes taxi ride, 20 minutes and 650 baht later (~$15) I was at the Monarch Lee Gardens downtown. 

   Upon my arrival at the hotel Doc was not around and I didn't have a room to go to. I thought for sure he'd set me up in his room. I hung out for a bit, then decided to go ahead and get a room.  Not long after I did, my phone rings and it's the very tight Doc. I met him and his date at his room (across the hall), we had a drink (he'd had more than a few since is was a bachelor party, sorta), shot some goofy videos (he had an incident with my suitcase and lost some skin), woke Keith from Sydney, aka "Little Fat Fucker"  and goaded him over to the room. Doc said to keep his room, he'd get another one and off they went. I was more than tired after 22 hours of flying so to bed I went.

  The next morning I woke up early and headed to complimentary (buffet) breakfast on the 34th floor. Great 180 degree view of the  city and excellent breakfast. Bangkok is a huge city of nearly 9 million, is almost always reaching the mid- 90's during the day, humid, but cooling into the low-80's in the evening. The Thai's say they have three seasons: Hot and Dry, Hot and wet, Hotter and dry. I arrived at the Hot/Hot and Wet cusp. Greaaaaaat! Oh well, what can ya do, right?

   At about 10 Doc showed up looking pretty good after the drunk he'd put on a few hours earlier. I guess he pre-trip training paid off. We did some wandering which consisted of the Baron bar in a hotel, then Oreilly's Irish pub where the boys actually ate solid food and I got it on tape. Doc and I hit a legit massage parlor for a two hour Traditional Thai massage, also known as an "ancient" massage.  I felt sorry for the woman who worked on me, as I know from my bicycle racing days that my hyper-stiff shoulders and neck have weakened the toughest masseuse. As I figured, after 2 hours and toe to scalp rubdown/elbow/pressure pointing later, she was pooped. All that cost 300 baht and 100 baht tip so roughly $10.  Two hour GOOD massage for $10. Try and get that in the states for less than $100!

   After that it was nap time, then we hit the night market and the red-light district known as Patpong. Being a really lousy shopper  and gift-giver, I knew I'd buy nothing, so I just kept the video camera rolling as we walked the streets and vendors stalls. Also walked by many dance and "display" establishments.    Back when I was 20 and first visited Thailand (Pattaya Beach in the south) I thought going to a bar, paying a girls "bar fine" so she'd be free to leave and do whatever, including sex, was really cool; sexual "Disneyland" and cheap! Now that I'm 41, I found it a little depressing. Oh, it's an ego boost for a man of any shape or size to know he can walk out of a bar with a pretty woman, or man of his choice if that's his kink. In the states we call them escorts or hookers, but the thinking is very different there - it's just a way for them to make a living and accepted so long as they are 18 or older.

    We ended up where Doc and Keith had been the night before, the Horseshoe Bar. Doc and Keith were greeted warmly by  Mama-San (sorry, can't recall her name) and we took seats at the bar. Doc went through (with some help) two 750 ml bottles of Jack the night before and there was a third barely touched with his name scribbled on it. In Thailand one can buy a bottle, they'll write your name on it and not touch it - you can drink off it for the length of your stay. Doc's glass was a Carlsberg beer pitcher. (He says the Pepsi is what made him a little queasy that night) Mama-San dispatched a young lovely by the name of Ging (not to be confused with soon to be wed to Doc Ging) who was my sidekick for the evening (left). Looking back the pictures and video, she certainly loved being on camera. After some drinks we all paid our respective bar fines, in this case 500 baht ($12) and went to dinner. Mama-San adopted Keith, Doc and I had our dates for the night. We took the leftovers back to the other girls at the bar. Had few drinks, played a game of pool on their snooker table then I called it a night. Mama-san was nice enough to give us a ride back to the motel. 

 Next day we rode the limo (minivan) to BKK and our flight to the wedding city destination of...

Udon Thani  

  After a one hour flight from Bangkok we landed in the mostly agricultural, very lightly touristed NE corner of the country. We exited from the front and rear of the Thai Airlines 737 and were offered umbrellas on the tarmac - not for rain but for sun.  Had there not been so much smoke in the air from burned fields throughout the region it would have been more intense then it already was. (As I was to find later, because  there was so much gunk in the air one could never see the stars at night, even after it rained)

    After picking up our luggage we piled into the minivan for the Charoensri (chair-own-shree) Grand Royal Hotel.  After we dropped off our stuff and Doc had checked in with his contacts, we headed for Steve's Bar, a British ex-pat run establishment a leisurely 5 minute walk/8 minute crawl from the hotel. Along the same lines as someone opening a door for you at an establishment and saying, "Welcome," the Thai equivalent is to be greeted by someone with their hands pressed together as if for prayer (call a Wai) and greeted with Hello, or Sawatdee! It's customary to at least return the wai with a small bow and very good form to ask them how they are, or sabai dee mai?  Many times greetings were exchanged with the lovely ladies of Steve's Bar (below). For more on the bar and Doc's new write off, Steve's Bar.

    We had a few Jack and Cokes then headed back to the motel. Keith and me to relax, Doc to check in with the wedding committee and Ging. Before we crashed there was a small get together, or "Wai and Howdy" in the hotel lobby with some of Ging's relatives and friends. All I figured out from it was that Ging's eldest brother was handling all the finances. To get a lowdown on the workings of a Thai marriage, I suggest visiting SiamLady as it's too lengthy for me to go into here.

The next day was Thursday, two days until the wedding. I had suggested to Doc before I left the states that I'd like to visit the Mekong River just to say I'd been there on the border of Laos. I wanted to get a picture and send it to my brother who was a Navy guy on a river gun boat (PBR) in the Mekong Delta during the Vietnam War.  I thought it might freak him out. Thursday morning I had breakfast with Keith and Doc downstairs (awesome buffet that went with the price of the room), then into the lobby at the pre-arranged time. There I was introduced to "Jack" (Supranee's nickname) our minivan driver Chimai (I think) and finally, Ging herself - lovely, quiet woman.

    It was about an hour or so drive to the Laos border, and after back and forth trips to the immigration office/border crossing we finally figured out that no visa was needed if one only wanted to walk to the middle of the Friendship Bridge across the Mekong toward Laos. The immigration guys were mildly perplexed why three western guys and three Thai nationals would want to go to Laos anyway. So, we parked near the bridge, scrambled up the embankment (after buying 10 baht liter bottles of drinking water, it was in the low-90's before noon) and walked to the middle of the bridge. I hadn't realized the bridge had been built by the Aussies. Keith the Aussie was incredulous: "The Australian government build the bridge and won't allow an Aussie citizen to cross the bloody thing!" 

    On the walk across and while we were goofing around sticking our foot across the "Halt" sign (left), Chimai explained that Laos and  Thailand have the same language with a few differences. He'd been in the Thai Air Force during the "American War" and flown on bombing missions to Laos in the early 70's.  "Laos very poor country - they all want to be Thai!," he said.

    The banks of the Mekong serve as a water recreation area and beach. There were hundreds of yards of black tarps mounted along the river's edge. 

    So I'd made it to the Mekong, shot pictures of the Lao flags flying on the other side of the bridge. Now it was time for a Thai's just about favorite activity - eating.  Off to lunch we went. We ended up at a sprawling river bank restaurant and were served they usual 10 course meal, which was awesome. (below left, with Keith telling Doc it was his shout for the lunch check)

 Doc was so impressed he wanted to make Mekong Beach their place to honeymoon, as he pointed out to Ging. 

We Farung picked up the check. We returned to the hotel, but first stopped for gas. After he'd filled up it was up to one of we Farung to pay the attendant. Same thing for the transport after being dropped off. It was all very reasonable. The long trip out to Laos, driver, gas and lunch came out to about 4000 baht total for six people, or about $90. I think that we hung out at Steve's Bar that night.

Friday, day before the wedding. Doc and Ging spent the day making final preps for the wedding, like getting her dress made. Pretty impressive (to me) that a very nice wedding dress could be made in two days and cost 5000 baht, or about $115. Our "crew" (Sujittra, Jack and the gang or relatives) set Keith and me up with Chimai again and we drove off to Ban Chiang archeological digs. 

    The digs began in the early 70's when bronze work was found in the village of Ban Chiang, and turns out it was the oldest bronze work ever found. The one part of the dig that was turned into a tourist attraction with a roof and open walls is an excavation site with hundreds of pots and vessels. We wandered around the museum, the dig site, adjacent Wat (temple) and souvenir shop shooting pictures.  I think Keith bought his wife a silk blouse and some fabric there. Early on I found I could find nothing that fit me in street vendors stands, as XL in Thailand doesn't translate to we westerners or Pharung as we're non-derogatorily referred to . We swung by the Nong Prajak Park in the center of the city on the way back. Very nice park in the middle of the city, also in the middle of a reservoir.  Now it was really hot and the park was just about deserted as most of the people get there near sundown to beat the heat. Since we had a 6am start time the next day it was a mellow evening hanging out at the Internet cafe across the street from the motel and watching funky Thai TV in the room.

 Wedding Day

To get you acquainted with Buddhist wedding rituals: 

"Be aware marriage to a Thai is going to cost you some money.  The first step is to have someone approach the ladies parents to bargain about the cost of the "Tong Mun" and "Sin Sod."

"Tong Mun" which means "gold engagement" is actual 24 karat gold jewelry given to the lady.  (Buy in Thailand , because lesser quality gold such as is sold in western countries would be considered as valueless.)  The cost of this will vary, but expect it to be around $625.00 US.  This is similar to the western engagement ring, which may also be given, but will not be expected.  

"Sin Sod" is the marriage price, the word "Sin" means riches, things of value.  In the past it might have been farm animals, farm products, land, or some such.  Now money is used as the thing of value.  "Sod" is the act of storing away, or holding the "Sin".  Long ago it could have been keeping the "Sin" if it was a farm animal in a secure fenced area.  Now the "Sin" would be likely stored by depositing the money into a bank.    The amount will vary due to several factors such as, the social status and wealth of the parents, the education, age, and beauty of the daughter.   The cost of the ceremonies, parties, food, etc., will be paid by the parents using part of the Sin Sod.

I understand that as a Westerner you think this sounds like selling ones daughter but the Thai culture has a completely different idea about it.  They believe a prospective husband owes them for bringing up the daughter to be a proper lady and wife.  Second you are replacing the labor she would have contributed to the family wealth.   Third you are demonstrating you have the financial ability to support a family.  Thai's are very strict about going along with their culture. 

The "Tong Mun" and "Sin Sod" will be presented at a betrothal ceremony called a "Phitee Mun," which will take place at the parents home.  There may be a small group of family and friends present for the ceremony which involves the introduction of the groom by a friend, giving of the gifts, promises by the groom to take care of the daughter, and acceptance by the parents.  You and your lady are now considered to be "Koo Mun" which means "tied or joined couple," (engaged.)  Afterward there will be a meal served, and conversation.

Sometime later, it could be the same day, next day, next week, or whatever date set by the "Koo Mun," there will be the actual wedding ceremonies.

The "Bai Sri Soo Kwan" ceremony.  The "Bai Sri" is a symbolic ornament put together by the women of the village using banana leaves, rice, flowers, and string.  "Soo Kwan" is a sermon given by a village elder.  The ceremony concludes by each guest tying a string around the wrist of the bride and of the groom, while giving the married couple their blessings, followed by the placing of a garland of flowers around the couples necks.  There will be a meal, music, and "Ram Vong" dancing if there is room.                        

This is a  Bai Sri, the cloth packages contain the Tong Mun & the Sin Sod.  The Bai Sri is in a base of rice in a bowl.  The bowl might also contain two eggs, two bananas, two candles, and other objects.  This custom will vary from village to village. 

The day started at about 5:30 am, but poor Doc got a knock at his motel room door at 3am by the dress fitter (I think) and beautician (that I know for sure because Doc related later "she" had the deepest voice he'd ever heard from someone in female garb). We all met in the lobby and were on the road a little after 6. It was a very quiet ride, but along the way we picked some a few family and friends so by the time we got to the wedding site the van was packed.  

    We pulled up to a home somewhere in the village that was two story, the upper half having one main room and two smaller bedrooms, the bottom being mahogany stilts set in hard earth and gravel, lined with tables, chairs, a small stage, a DJ and good sound system. (very similar in style to the one to the right, below) We sat at the center table and were immediately served chilled Singha beer at 8am, for breakfast. Aww, what the hell! The day was already quite warm, even in the shade. From the under an awning kitchen in the back all sorts of goodies made their way to the table: sticky rice, stir-fried dishes of all meat, vegetable and temperature ranges. (left, below and right below with Keith at the head of the table) Unlike many other Asian cultures, you won't find chopsticks set down at the table in Thailand, you either eat with your hands or fork and spoon. The "Thai Way" to eat is pull a hunk of sticky rice out of the woven basket, roll it up between your hands, flatten and wrap around the morsels of your choosing.  It is legal to use a fork and spoon after you go native though.

  There was good size crowd at the peak of the eating, somewhere around 80 people. During the whole time a large silver collection bowl was manned next to the stage. It would make many rounds both before and after the ceremony as it is customary to make a donation to the couple. The DJ spun tapes and Ging's oldest brother would get on  stage from time to time and, I assume remind people what was going on, where the donation table was and to enjoy themselves. 

    This is a good time to introduce you to Supranee, known by her nickname, "Jack," whose given name is Supranee Pookongjit. She works with her sister-in-law, Sujittra, (Su) and served as our interpreter. If not for Jack we would have missed out on much that was going on, what people were saying and the happenings behind the scenes.  Jack is tall for a Thai woman, about 5'8, which made it very handy when I was being talked to by someone I could look around and pick Jack out easily so I could wave her over for a dialog assist. 

    While picking at food and taking pictures the passing traffic was very interesting to watch. Before the procession formed to escort Doc to the alter, I watch cattle being herded up the street, armed game wardens or soldiers whiz by on motorbikes, pedicabs, tuk-tuks and long-railed, engine in the back, drag-racer looking farm tractors.

    Prior to the ceremony a large group grabbed Doc, stuck a wand of flowers in his hand and led him down the street. (below right) They turned around and began, I think Jack called it a "roll" back up the street with the musicians (a "Cat" player, an instrument that is like a cross between a pan flute and harmonica accompanied by two drummers) Doc strutting his stuff and being encouraged along by the raucous crowd. One had to step lively and carefully on the road since the cattle had made a few deposits while moseying through town.  It was even more fun for me since I was walking  backwards to shoot video and stills!

    I'm going to be really brief on the actual ceremony. After the roll, Doc's shoes were removed and his feet washed, then he was led amongst many whoops and cat calls up to the large room upstairs. Everyone kicked off their shoes before going up.  For lack of a better word I'll call the man who ran the ceremony a priest, in front of him was the "wedding bowl," (my term) or Bai Sri loaded with symbolic things set in a bed of rice with artfully done spires of woven leaves holding loose strings. He chanted for at least 10 minutes straight. During that time Doc, Ging, me and  Keith sat cross-legged, holding a string tied to the bowl, being directed to touch the bowl, having our hands whisked with rice whiskey. Bride and grooms had to share a boiled egg (symbol of life perhaps?) then the official ceremony was concluded by the priest binding their their hands to one another with string. After that people would come up, wish them luck, leave a donation and tie a string from the bowl around their wrist. One must wear the string for three days for good luck.  If Jack hadn't of told me all this, I would have missed much of the significance.

After the ceremony there was dancing, speeches and more beer. The blind Cat player and his drummer backups played a couple of tunes, one of which on caught on video. I was urged by the village elder to get up and dance, so I did.  

 Nothing like dancing and ducking at the same time - made me look like more a dork than I already do. Oh well, it was fun.  

Everything wound down around noon. During the time after the ceremony Ging got out of her hot wedding dress and had a shower out back so I almost didn't recognize her when we loaded up the van. We stopped at a roadside dried fish vendor's place then took the fish and some other munchies to a large roadside shop that sold all sorts of wonderful silk and cotton Thai-made clothing. Nothing fit me of course, but I did get a few things for others.

We hit the hotel for a shower and a nap. That evening we all met up again for a big dinner at Steve's Bar. A few of us ended up at karaoke in the hotel bar. I sang "Hotel California" and "American Pie."  Too bad they didn't have any Ozzy or Aerosmith on the song menu.  :)  Fortunate perhaps for the other patrons!  It was a good time. 

    The next day held another unique experience, but it would all be a surprise. The night before they asked us what else we wanted to do while there and wanting to see some hills came up. They decided to go someplace I could not understand, but I came to find out it was a lake.  Okay!  Doc and Ging  stayed behind, so me, Keith, Sujittra, her husband Santi and daughter Jing Jo (means kangaroo), Jack, Vi and Dee. It was a long drive to the NW,  but the scenery was so much different than the area SE of Udonthani where we'd spent the majority of our time. Instead of looking like southern California with rice paddies it looked like, well, indochina: rolling hills (left), dense forest, winding roads and lots of mango, guava, papaya, tamarind and kumquat trees to name a few. There was a light rain, a couple of trucks had slid off the road but we did fine.

We got to one part of a lake and were turned away. I didn't know if we were looking for a camp spot by the lake or what. 

We'd stopped at a market along the way and picked up roasted chicken (head and feet still attached, but no feathers), some fruit and drinking water. After a couple of more places and a few turn-arounds we found a spot. 

Once we parked (and ate a few Manzanitas (little apples) off a tree) I saw what we were doing - picnic on a covered  thatch-covered bamboo raft! We walked the plank to get onboard, a menu was brought out and the locals ordered all sorts of dishes. 

The two most noteworthy was the spicy still-alive little jumping shrimp dish (delicious) and roasted crickets. Not bad once you remove the head.  

Vi on the raft, the picnic area on a small island, Vi, boatman and Keith, Jack and me)

There was also beer and a very good brandy. Two boys hooked up long boats on either side of the raft and took us to the middle of the lake to float and eat. 

It was cloudy and cool (mid 80's), a light breeze, good friends, food and amazing scenery. The pusher boats came back, hooked up and took us to a nearby island for a pit stop in the woods where there was a covered picnic table, some paths and two privies. I shot video to capture the amazingly loud droning of the insects - much louder than cicadas, but not as shrill. We cast off, floated around a bit more, checking out the wild buffalo along the shore and as low-hanging clouds shouded distant hills. 

Wonderful afternoon. That night a few of us hung out at Steve's and had few drinks - my last night there for this trip. 

 So long Udon Thani hello, ugh, Taipei 

The next morning I scheduled a hotel van ride to the airport then had breakfast. While packing Doc called the room to let me know I had company in the lobby - Sujittra, Jack and Surapak had come to see me off. We hung out in the lobby and chatted a bit. I didn't want to leave!  Just before boarding the van Jack said she was going to the airport with me - great, I could use the company. After I boarded the van it was really hard not to cry while saying goodbye, especially with the prospect of a long layover in Taipei then a long flight.  Ugh.  I was glad Jack came along to see me off. The time came to board, I gave her a hug and a thank you for making the trip so much more rewarding for me.  

   Leaving there was very hard. The one hour flight to Bankok was kinda lonely, but the flight to Taipai, knowing I had many hours of layover in a boring-ass airport was utterly depressing. I really could have used a Xanax right then.

So, I made it to Taipei. Yuk. (lovely view from the motel room, 4th row down on the left) 

Survived the layover and a suckky 12 hour flight to LA in a 747 completely packed with Chinese and Vietnamese tourists.  Never, NEVER get the aisle seat across from the galley on a Chinese airlines 747!

Thailand however is addictive - "Tall Man" will return... especially now that Doc is settled, has a house with A/C and a truck!

Gerrit